The Costs of (Misplaced) Guilt

(Trigger Warning: This episode does briefly reference physician suicide)

Have you ever looked up and realized you've slid back into a pattern you thought you'd left behind, and immediately wondered what is wrong with you? That moment of recognition, the one where you feel like you've undone all your progress, is exactly what we're digging into today.

One of my clients came to a session recently carrying something heavy. A patient had died unexpectedly. And in the days that followed, she found herself spending hours consoling the patient's spouse, plus building out this ever-growing to-do list of promises she'd made to other patients. Things that were genuinely above and beyond what anyone could reasonably expect of her. When we looked closely at what was actually driving all of it, the answer was guilt.

Here's the thing about guilt: it doesn't just sit there. It moves. It shapes what we do, what we promise, how we spend our time and energy. And for us as physicians, it gets even more complicated because so much of our training was shame-based in ways we may not have fully unpacked. There's a difference between "I did something wrong" and "I am something wrong," and that line gets blurry fast when you've been trained in environments where a bad outcome means someone has to be responsible, and that someone is usually you.

We also get into something I think is becoming more and more urgent: the patients who are making significant health decisions without looping us in. GLPs sourced online, compounded peptides from a doctor friend, supplement stacks from a wellness influencer. And when something goes sideways, guess who feels responsible? We talk about what it actually means to be a consultant to our patients, not the owner of their choices, and why drawing that line isn't about caring less. It's about being able to stay in this work at all.

This one is worth your time. Come listen.

If this resonates and you want support actually living it, let's talk. Schedule a free discovery call here: https://calendly.com/healthierforgood/coaching-discovery-call

Connect with Megan:
Instagram: @MeganMeloMD
Website: healthierforgood.com
Email: megan@healthierforgood.com